Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
