I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
