My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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