I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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