If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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