PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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