she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
