help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
