okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
