My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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