bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
