white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
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just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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