oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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