3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
