guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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