all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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