it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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