I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
