I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
