I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
