College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Success! We fucked roommates!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
