this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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