it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't think brook has ever known best
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
