Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
