Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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