I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
