The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
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I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
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Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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