Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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