There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
