She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
