Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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