Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
