No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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