Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
