Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
