I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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