Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
