Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
