i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
