Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
