She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
