Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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