lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
