I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
