Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Randomize
