her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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