so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
your like the ambassador to my penis.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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