haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
