So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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