...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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