Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
