they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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