I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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