is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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