Sponge bath it is.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
