Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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