): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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