O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
