i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize