Swine flu. Run for my life!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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