I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
