Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
