If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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