I feel like I'm in dance class right now
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
