I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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