I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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