Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
