Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
