A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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