Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
